Best of 2009 Pt. I: The Hazards of Love by The Decemberists

Partly inspired by Paste Magazine, I present to you the first in a series of blurbs about my favorite albums of the first half of 2009.

The Hazards of Love
The Decemberists

The critics seemed a bit divided on this album, but I'm obviously a big fan. What irks me is that even a lot of the reviewers who have praised it have been rather sheepish about it, almost like they're embarrassed to admit to liking it. The PopMatters reviewer called it "pretentious" and thought that having children sing on one of the tracks was an "egregious miscalculation" - he also felt that the lyrics, "though excellent throughout, do sometimes border on self-parody." I think your review borders on self-parody, douchefuck!

Pitchfork's Marc Hogan rated it 5.7 out of 10 and said reading the lyrics is "[t]oo much work, not enough payoff." Of course, nobody from Pitchfork could ever admit loving an album with lyrics so vivid and poetic. They prefer their lyrics to be pointlessly obscure, like the stuff Spencer Krug tosses off on any of his several dozen releases each year.

But the real beauty to be found here is in the music, which is arranged to perfection and has melodies that will haunt you for days and weeks after hearing them. The upright bass in "The Hazards of Love 1" is just one example of how evocative the instrumentation is on this album. When it first appears at just under a minute into the track, it plays whole notes, functioning as nothing but a low cushion of vibration on which Colin Meloy sings the song's refrain. It then asserts itself properly with a slow, understated arpeggiated phrase of its own, while the music continues to build steam into the next verse. It's one of those moments that is simultaneously satisfying on its own and yet also seems to build excitement and energy.

Moreover, the album is unified musically in ways that suggest classical forms. For example, the harmonies in the album's instrumental intro form the basis of whole songs later on. Throughout, themes and their variations appear and reappear. In other words, this album is carefully crafted - and who hates good craftsmanship? People who think they are too jaded or cynical or hip to be moved by mere musical sounds, I suppose. And also the tone-deaf: let's not forget them. Their inability to hear the beauty in melody and harmony is pitiable, and we should feel sorry for them. But they shouldn't be writing music reviews.